Tuesday, July 1, 2008

on infinite weight and gravity

Change is something we all see around us. Almost everything changes
over time. I was just thinking on the changes i have undergone in the
last few months. I have lost a bit of my 'Great Wall of Shyness', put
on some extra pounds by the tummy ... Loads of changes. But none
like one of my friends.He paid a visit last week and told me about his
experience a few years back. I wont say out his name because its
classified. I heard even aliens are out to hunt him down..


PS: This is a corrupted version of the story.
Please check out the
pure n sensible, abstract n
divine version
here. And don't complain if the
director of ATM copied his story from that place..
I suggest that
you read the 'original' before you
read this poisoned version below...


""Second death of Newton!!!""

Thus spake... the upcoming director Shankar..

"""Till very recently i never thought gravity existed. All this while,
people gave me so many examples to show the presence of gravity.
One example was about throwing a fruit upwards and watch it fall
downwards after a momentary stop. Since i have an extra kai, i don't
wait for the fruit to fly away upwards, i catch it midway itself and
gobble it UP. So finally it didn't fall DOWN. Thus i gave such
intelligent counter-arguments for every explanation people gave about
the existence of gravity.


But, certain events transpired in my life, as i tell you, which changed
my stand on the existence of gravity. Throughout my life, a happy,
full meal never happened for me. In functions i go to, i made sure i ate
at least two unlimited meals. But in this function i attended, they made
the meals limited. I was at the brink of sinking into a depression and
almost fainted because i didn't get my quota.


You see, whenever i am hungry and i am asleep, i ensure that i go and
buy food at least in my dreams. This was one such dream. I hate eating
at hotels because the table is usually small to eat on. So i get only parcels.
Since i wasnt very hungry, i took only a truck to get the food. I was
going at 12kph on ECR, because that was all the truck could go. Some
people said that the truck is overloaded, and hence due to the weight,
it isn't able to move fast. I took this as another case of people preaching
about gravity. Only i knew the real reason for the super speed of the
truck.
If i remember right, out of extreme hunger, once i had eaten
a tin of bananas. Pieces of the tin were stuck between my teeth and i
needed a toothpick badly. So i used the gear lever.

As i was driving, the road suddenly gave in and started sloping
downwards. It then became a tunnel and then turned left. I didn't
remember what happened after this. Anyways, when i told my brother
about the dream, he laughed out loud and said "Poda loosu. Unoda
weight thangama, road odanju tunnel aaiduthu. Thats why it
caved in."
His explanation supported the existence of gravity. At the peak of my
anger, i felt like eating him up, but sentiments made me settle with a
few kgs of sweets.


Anyways i forgot about the dream, till few weeks later,when my family
planned an outing to mayajaal. We took the same ECR that i took in
my dream. And then the road indeed had a tunnel which turned to the
left. At that instant, all the forgotten parts of the dream came back to
my mind. To my shock and surprise, the dream was
happening.. all of it!!

At the end of the tunnel, there was a barricade that i crashed into, in
my dream. I felt a small vibration but then neglected it as i thought it
was my stomach, rumbling in extreme hunger. It was then that i got a
phone call from my parents that a catastrophic tsunami
had caused
immense damage to coastal areas near chennai. Within a few days, people
were attributing all sorts of reasons for the tsunami. All of them revolved
around gravity, tectonic forces and other stuff. Yet again, till date,
only i know the real cause of the tsunami.


Now you must be wondering if that made me realize that gravity
indeed existed. You are wrong. It was January end when i had my
mid term exams. I had got zero in physics, because chapters involved
gravitation. Then the teacher slapped me hard and said " Dei madaya..
sadly, gravity surely exists. Otherwise, idiots like you who have
nothing inside their heads would have flown away long back and
the world would have been a better place!!" That was the turning
point in my life. From then on, i believed entirely in gravity. Because

i didn't want to end up floating somewhere in space. What would i
do for food there???
"""


After this, i seemed to agree with the teacher. Of course, i knew
right from the start that gravity existed, but didn't know that there
would be so much to it. A song came to my mind then..
'Un kutthamaa, en kutthamaa...'
Ennathan sonnalum, there are some things that never change..
As long as it doesn't change, people can, and will have fun at its cost...
Its all in the game....

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

hey ...super post da.....semma humourous...

but i felt the title could have been

"CONFESSIONS OF A BLANK AND BLABBERING MIND"....would have suited better....

Unknown said...

sama rousu...good keep it up!!!

Unknown said...

Shyammu...All in the gamemmu...please da..ithoda niruthiko...Let us be friendsu da..

Unknown said...

hey dude,
The message u wanted to convey is well sadi and wid good humor da!! But i still thought the time that guys realised that gravity actually existed a little silly!! Although u wanted some humor in it u could ve made it less silly.. This is wat i feel abt the post
On the whole it was a nice and humorous post!!

shyamvenky said...

@anand,
my dear moron friend, i think u havent understood the underlying meanings in this blog.. u better ask your frns n get it clarified, else there will be another confession posted soon.. ;);)

Unknown said...

shyam main aim of the blog is achieved!! message got delivered to the rite person as u can see his invitation to frndship!!!!
lets us also be frnds shyam!! :D

PS:The prev post is my comment without reading the original post!!

Unknown said...

Good work vetti venki !! Post a comment on the original with a link to this da ..

shyamvenky said...

@manoj,
sadly, i cant post on the original da. it needs owner's approval. anyways, i want the owner to see this thing late only, after lotsa ppl comment da.. ;);)

Karthik Swaminathan said...

Wow. Great piece of work da. What a sense of creativity da ;)
Pulitzer prize can be given da! :P

shyamvenky said...

@swami,
pulitzer ellam too much da.. naalu paer pathu sirichale porum da.. more than enough.. :):):)

Yamini Chandrasekaran said...

goodone! finally the endless pieces of one liner kadis that one had to endure from you have come together to make an interesting read ;-). but havnt you heard of 'blog and let blog!'? (it ensures that you don't get beaten up :-p)